Life's Shadow
by Thomagata
Summary: *Sequel to Secrets In Past and Shadow* Rose has brushed with death many times, nearly escaping it everytime. But just when things seemed to be good and done, there are more things lurking in the shadows waiting for her.
1. Prequel: Don't Leave Me

RPOV

It was dark, I mean really dark. The way was lit with candles and I felt as though I was moving in slow motion as I ran down the aisles of candles. I've been here before, I know have. The dark world, the lit candles, the haunting figures that sluggishly flittered around. I don't remember how I got here. I was just suddenly here. Running. Running from what? I didn't know. I didn't look back. I just kept running. Past the ghostly, haunting figures, and past the dim candles that surrounded me. I don't know how long I ran. Minutes? Hours? Days? I didn't know, all I could think of was getting away. Running away from what was behind me. Was I outrunning death?

Suddenly I stooped, my eyes growing wide at the sight before me. I was seeing things again, just like a time not so long ago. A pair of blue eyes were looking at me, ghostly, hollow, and cold. Lifeless as his pale red hair flittered in the none-existent breeze. His pale face drifted back and forth between he's deathly pale face to a bleached white skull. Back and forth, back forth like a terrible nightmare. He raised his drifting hand as he pointed right at me, his eyes unwavering, unblinking as others began to surround us. Other ghostly figures, some I knew, some I didn't. circled around me pointing at me with their pale hands.

You were never meant to live.

I feel to me knees, almost at their mercy as some began to walk forward. Seeming lost of hope and feelings of willingness I looked behind me slowly, once again shocked. A woman stood beyond the circle of ghost looking calm and at peace. Her long brown hair was beautiful and inviting, and her skin warm and rich with life. She looked at me with her familiar brown eyes just watching as the ghosts grew nearer.

I tried to call out her name for help but nothing seemed to be able to pass from my lips. It was if a heavy weight was in my throat making it hard for me to speak. I tried over and over but nothing was able to pass. The woman suddenly turned around as a blinding white light began to surround her. She was leaving.

No don't leave me.

I felt cold hands grab me, their fingers sinking into my flesh as I struggled against them, trying to cry out to the familiar woman. Don't leave me. The woman kept walking her brown hair flittering behind her. As I reached out I could just feel the warmth of the light. It was so warm so inviting, it was life. Without me realizing it I began to feel cold, drowsy and weak. The ghosts grabbed me arms, my legs, my hair. Pulling me away from the light. But I was a fighter and so I struggled and struggled against their harsh hold on me wanting to follow the woman into the light. I knew what lied beyond that light. My loved ones, my friends, every person I cared about lay beyond that light but I was being pulled away. Farther and farther away, into the darkness

And then suddenly…I woke up.


	2. Ch1 Calm Before the Storm

**Here it is my readers. The wait is now OVER. The very first chapter (prologue already submitted) is up. My three week summer break has started and between an anime convention, painting, watching movies, playing video games, being kidnapped by my sisters, family time, and loving on my cats I'll be updating (hopefully) a lot :D So I hope you enjoy the first chapter to the sequel, I hope none of you will be disappointed in the future chapters to come. Enjoy!**

**~Thomagata**

RPOV

Bill. Bill. Junk. Bill. More junk. Oh look another bill.

I was sorting the mail. Yes it was an extremely exciting job sitting there in our apartment sorting through our bills. Our? Yes you heard correctly I wasn't living alone in this two story apartment, special thanks to my royal best friend Lissa. I was here at the royal court living with my current boyfriend while guarding my best friend and living a rather good life. And life was going pretty smoothly especially since four months ago I was lying on my death bed and arguing with ghosts in purgatory. I went to work watching over my best friend, Lissa, while my boyfriend, the amazing sexy Dimitri, went to guard her boyfriend, Christian. It was like some strange tangled family. With Eddie and Mia popping in from time to time…oh and of course our favorite smoking drunken Adrian was also there.

Yep the birds were singing and the moon was shining. It was a pretty good life. Except right now. It was winter holiday and so Lissa and I were back from Lehigh for the next practically two months. Yes I did say two months. Amazingly Lehigh worked on a Quarter system so winter break was from November 18th till January 2nd. It was really nice especially since I got to spend lots of time with Dimitri. Yes, those ten weeks without him was terrible. Living in a dorm room with horny college boys running around was terrible. But we made it up real fast, much to Lissa's and Christian's displeasure but they didn't live with us so seeing us make out in the middle of the runway was nothing compared to what we did later. If you catch my drift.

But Dimitri wasn't home. Yeah apparently fireboy was doing things of his own here at court and since Dimitri was his guardian after all, he had to go too. I would go but I might distract Dimitri just a bit too much if I did, so back to my mail sorting. I sat at the kitchen table sorting through the mail separating the junk from the important matters. The junk went into the garbage the magazines went to me and the bills went to Dimitri. We paid equally for everything but it was Dimitri who handled the business. It wasn't because I wanted it that way but rather Dimitri didn't trust me to pay the electric bill on time. He knew me too well.

Suddenly I flipped to what looked like a post card. It had a picture of trees with pink flowers and exotic houses and women wearing long robe like dresses. I smiled to myself as I flipped over the postcard and began to read it.

_To the beautiful Rose and the Grouchy Dimitri,_

The rough masculine handwriting began.

_ We decided, well I decided, to return to Japan to revisit the hot springs. It was a wonderful event full of pretty women in their autumn wear and lots of warm sake. I actually got Kisa into a Kimono again she looked so sexy but don't tell Dimitri I said that unless this is Dimitri reading than ignore my comment. The hot springs were relaxing which was good for Kisa she, unfortunately, has been a bit under the weather lately but not to worry I'm an excellent doctor though Kisa tells me different. Now we are about to take a small bus to a temple north from where were staying. Were up in the quite mountains away from the busy streets of Tokyo and it very peaceful, too bad it'll soon be cold. Maybe we'll head to Egypt next and take a gander at the great pyramids of Giza it should be warm down there righ?. Oh and then we could go to Iraq and see where the Gates of Ishtar used to be before they were shipped off to Germany (do you guys know anything about Western art?)Kisa thinks it's a horrible idea (I guess growing up in Russia makes her hate hot weather) if I can't coax her into that then we'll go to England. Catch a show, go to some art exhibits. _

_ I know I'm rambling again. But we wish you and two the best. We don't know when we'll be back so take care you two. I must go before Kisa lovingly scolds me for taking too long. _

_ See ya,_

_Xavier and Kisa_

I smiled once again remembering those two. Kisa was Dimitri's younger sister, she was shadow kissed to her charge (Xavier) and we had a wild and crazy summer with them. Over the last few months they had been sending us post cards about their trips around the world. Xavier had barely gotten out of his marriage (who crazily turned Strigoi and was killed) and so was now avoiding his family (who was apparently still trying to get him settled down) by traveling. It was nice to hear from them and to hear of their adventures, it was also funny to read the different points of view of Xavier and Kisa. Kisa would complain that Xavier wouldn't sit still while Xavier often wrote about forcing Kisa into culture based clothing and how hot she looked in it, much to Dimitri's displeasure.

I sighed and got up from the table and placed the post card under a magnet on our fridge where the rest of their post cards were. It was quite a collection we had. A post card from India, one from Brazil, we even had one from Russia. Apparently they made a small side trip to Kisa's hometown to visit her family. I found it quite funny when Dimitri read the card; apparently his mother gracefully accepted Xavier and showered him with home cooked meals.

I admired the collection of cards for a second more before I heard the door to the apartment open and close.

"I'm home." A lightly accented voice echoed through the apartment.

"Welcome home sweetie!" I gushed, skipping gallantly through the room to where he stood ever so sexily in his guardian uniform. I could never get over his handsome features. A strong masculine jaw with brown hair that barely scrapped the top of his shoulders. Smooth tan skin, brown eyes, and a masculine scent that was spicy and warm.

"Enthusiastic as always." He said chuckling slightly at my outrageous greeting.

"Anything for my man." I replied, stanching onto my tippy toes so I could get a kiss.

"Mmmm, anything you say?" He said letting his lips linger on to mine for a brief second. "I have a few things in mind that you could do for me."

"Oh really?" I said feigning innocence, "And what could I do for you?"

"Well for starters…" Our lips met and the familiar current raked through as our lips gently scrapped each other in light kisses before they grew heavy and deep. My mind grew foggy and hazy for a moment and I could barely feel his hands on my back slowly make their way south when…

"Honestly you two, right in front of the door?"

Dimitri and I instantly broke apart to see Lissa and Christian standing in our now open doorway.

"Did you two just barge into our apartment?" I asked still in Dimitri's embrace.

"Maybe," Christian said, the one who also interrupted Dimitri's and I's private time.

"It was Christian's idea." Lissa quickly explained which was all I needed to understand. As usual, Christian wanted to annoy me and what better way to barge into my apartment knowing full well Dimitri and I would be in a full on make out session. I guess he wasn't expecting us to do it in front of the door.

"Can we help you with anything Princess?" Dimitri asked taking his hands off my waist so that we were standing side by side.

I rolled my eyes, always the polite one. "Yeah what can we do for you Lissa? We have a make out session to finish." In the corner my eye I could see Dimitri look away slightly embarrassed. Though he didn't look it, Dimitri was a very private person. Things like… well…bedroom activities were strictly between him and me in his world while in my world Lissa talked about everything. At least we do now.

"Yeah we're ready to go to the airport." Lissa giggled. What?

"Airport? Who are we picking up?" I asked Dimitri, he was usually the on top of these things but he looked as confused as I did.

"You don't know?" she asked turning to Christian, "Did she say it was a surprise?"

"No I don't think she did but," He looked at giving me a smirk, "I think we should make it a surprise." Asshole.

"Who are we picking up fire crotch and you better tell me." I threatened but the asshole just kept his smirk.

"I'm not telling."

I was about to threaten him again when Lissa sighed and said, "Will you two grow up let's just go. Rose you'll find out eventually so just grab your keys and let's go."

Knowing it would be pointless and a waste of breath I agreed and grabbed my keys. The drive to the airport was quiet and boring. Dimitri drove even though I pestered him over and over again for the right to drive but all I got was shotgun. No keys, no wheels, not even the stupid radio. Country music was blasting through the speakers while I silently wished I could blast it myself and worse yet, Dimitri was humming cheerily to himself. Bastard. Even Lissa was getting into it, saying it wasn't all that bad and even knew a song or two. For Christ's sakes please save me. But finally we arrived at the airport. It was a small local airport with small express jets and few private ones here and there so it wasn't too busy and noisy.

"All right Liss since you know who were picking up where do we go?"

She thought for a minute scanning the arrival and the departure screens before saying. "I think she said she'll be landing on a private jet and it was gate…oh Christian do you remember?"

"I believe four.

"Four."

So we walked to gate four and sat in the stiff seats so that we could sit there bored. Well at least I did, I was playing with my phone as Dimitri patiently sat next to me with his arm draped behind me. We sat there for ten minutes till a plane finally pulled up on to the gate. It was a smooth black jet with fiery red stripes. It looked faaaancy. A rich Moroi no doubt. Though I don't really recall Lissa knowing any stuck rich Moroi's. I sat there confused for a moment staring at the plane as a terminal began to pull up and crew members began to unpack the plane, it was then I glanced at the fin of the jet. It had a bird with outstretched wings with an almost fire tribal design for the wings. It's neck was craned downwards while its beak was open, frozen in its powerful cry. In its talons was a hand full of stakes while the other was open showing off its sharp talons. Underneath the bird was a string of Russian, воскреснет чтобы завоевать битвы, with two olive branches sprouting on both sides of the bird incasing it in a circle.

Something was then nagging on the back of mind telling that this should be familiar when suddenly two figures stepped off out of the terminal. The first was a man in his early twenties standing there in a black shirt and plain jeans. He had a computer bag hanging from his shoulders and look relaxed and calm as he stared at us with his light green eyes. His black hair was messy and his pale Moroi skin was almost a sickly tone, at least he would look sickly in the eyes of a human.

The second figure was a young woman, a few years younger than the man. She stood calm but alert behind him, her deep brown eyes swiftly going back and forth for a source of danger like a good guardian would. She wore a green shirt and jeans while keeping her hands in her pockets. Her hair was also a mess from the long ride and had a healthy tan gently settle on her skin. Nothing too dark and nothing too light.

The man smiled at us, probably more at me with my shocked filled face, and said "Well looks like we meet again my friends."

Well I'll be damned, it Xavier Zotkin and Guardian Kisa Belikov.


	3. Ch2 Rivalry

My God, I'm the worst author ever. I promise a new story and it takes me a month to update only the second chapter. What is wrong with me? I deserve your cruel words, and beatings, my readers, if there are any of you left out there. Go on, hate me as much as you will (*continues to be extremely dramatic*) Well anyway, here it is, chapter two. Took long enough but I'll try to do better, maybe update at least once a week. after all I am in summer school right now. Yeah I know, what am I thinking? But oh well College comes first my friends but enjoy the chapter nonetheless.

~Thomagata

RPOV

I sat there my mouth still a gaped at the sudden appearance of the traveling lovebirds. I think my face was frozen like that since leaving the airport. We now sat in a decent restaurant talking and musing over menus. I just couldn't be, it was too ironic, about an hour ago I was reading a postcard from them explaining their adventures in Japan and now here they were sitting across from me, Xavier flirting with Kisa (telling her that he had desert planned for them later, pervert) acting as though this was common knowledge that they should be here. Was I the only one who didn't?

"I think flies are making a home in your mouth Rose." Dimitri whispered beside me, amused by my _still_ shocked expression.

"Are you not surprised that they're here?" I yell whispered to him, glaring at Xavier as he made small talk with Lissa.

Dimitri just shrugged as he turned to his menu a smile creeping up his lips.

"I'm here!" A voiced suddenly cried from behind directing our attention to our favorite playboy Moroi.

"Well I'll be damned." Xavier replied standing up and giving Adrian one of those awkward one arm man hugs. "Is that really you Adrian? You look more drunk than usual."

"Shut up man you're just jealous that this party can't start without me." Adrian replied taking a seat besides Xavier.

"Am I the only one who didn't know you two were coming?" I finally snapped, throwing my menu down in frustration.

"But Rose," Lissa said, "I told you last week that they were flying in today."

"You did?" I asked completely bewildered, "Why didn't you remind me?" I directed the question to Dimitri this time.

"Um, I got…distracted." He replied trying to hide his embarrassment.

"You shouldn't let women distract you brother." Kisa said lazily flipping through her menu.

That made everyone laugh as Dimitri shook his head probably feeling scandalized that our personal life was in the open for everyone to laugh at. Soon after humiliating myself the waitress came and took our order. The food came and we dug in. Despite the shock of their arrival it was nice to see Kisa and Xavier again they were carefree as usual with a happy glow around them.

"So you two," I began eating a fork full of my chicken alfredo pasta. "What brings you back to this boring part of the world?"

"Nothing much really." Xavier replied. "Just taking a break, unwinding."

"Like traveling the world and staying in lavish hotels is real hard." Christian replied sarcastically.

Xavier shrugged as if it was no big deal while Kisa sat their kind of solemnly. Then I remembered something.

"Hey Kisa are you feeling alright." I asked, "I remember in the last postcard that you weren't feeling well."

"Is that true Kisa?" Dimitri asked, his brotherly instincts kicking in.

"No I'm fine really." She said waving off our concern. "It was just the weather. Really."

I still didn't really believe her she seemed a bit on the edge for such a simple question. But it could have been the ghosts. Kisa was like me. She was shadowed-kissed and so she often saw ghosts like I did, but unlike me Kisa saw ghosts everywhere. In and out of the wards. Apparently the longer your shadowed kissed and the more you kill the closer you become with death in which one eventually becomes sensitive to ghosts. So far I haven't reached the point where I see ghosts everywhere but Kisa had. Just by looking at her I could see her eyes drift back and forth every so often, following the dark shadows that probably lined the walls of the restaurant.

Finally after cheery conversations, and delicious food, the night ended. We left the restaurant together laughing and chatting away without a care in the world through the breezy November night. Adrian and Xavier were both drunk, whether it was because of their bromance or the wine they had I didn't know, and to tell the truth I didn't care. I just watched amused as Kisa supported a wobbly Xavier who was yelling at Adrian about how awesome he was with Adrian, being supported by a not so happy Dimitri, yelling back how awesome Xavier was. I must say it's way more fun to watch drunk people than be drunk.

"Ten bucks they'll start hugging and getting all emotional on how the other is so awesome." I whispered to Lissa as we stood outside the restaurant.

"Rose," She giggled swatting my arm playfully. "You know this was your entire fault."

And she was right I was the one who betted how much more than other could drink. I personally thought it would be Adrian but Dimitri stopped us half way through saying we would kicked out if we didn't stop soon.

"Yeah I know." I stated proudly, "Next time we should go to a bar and make them drink Vodka."

"And it better be Rus-ssssian Vodka." Xavier slurred trying to make his way to me. "Because-sse you know- you know that stuff holds-sss the bes-sssst punch. You know-know instead of getting me and Awesome Adrian here drunk you sss-should s-see which of the Belikov sss-siblings here can hold the most liquor."

"Now that would be exciting." I said flicking a naughty gaze towards Dimitri.

"I don't think so." He replied, shifting Adrian around who was busy mumbling some song about pretty women.

"Oh come on Comrade. Are you afraid your own little sister would beat you?"

"I know I would beat her."

"Excuse me?" Kisa suddenly shot in. "How do you know how much I drink?"

"Well hopefully none at all."

"oh so ignorant, aren't you Comrade." I said.

"I think I could beat you." Kisa said confidently.

"Oh I doubt it."

"Wanna bet?"

"Yeah."

"Little swallow, wearing a flower coat,  
>Flies here every Spring,<br>I asked the Swallow, "Why do you come?"  
>The Swallow replies, "The spring here is the most beautiful.""* That was from Xavier who was shouting and singing, swaying back and forth against Kisa's shoulder.<p>

"Well I think that little drinking competition is going to have to wait." I said, trying my hardest to hold in my laughter.

"I think Mister Swallow here needs to get back to his nest."

"Yeah I agree." Kisa muttered. "Come on Xavier it's time for bed. See ya guys," She said turning to leave to the guest housing, "We'll have to meet up later."

After giving our round of goodbyes we all turned to our respected rooms, me and Dimitri making a pit stop at Adrian's place, all the while hearing Xavier sing into the night:

"Little swallow, I'll tell you,  
>This year this place is even more beautiful.<br>We've built large factories,  
>and equipped new machines,<br>To Welcome you, so you can settle down,  
>Please live here forever."*<p>

"Well that was interesting." I said stepping into mine and Dimitri's apartment. We had just finished dropping Adrian off at his place and we were now back at our place. Who knew sorting the mail would lead to such interesting circumstances.

"Yes very interesting." Dimitri agreed closing the front door and locking it.

"So," I began, turning to him, very an evil look on my face. "I get to see a drunk Dimitri?"

He sighed, taking off his duster and placing it in a closet near the front door. "Don't start with that Rose. I can't believe I agreed to that. So unprofessional." He mumbled the last part to himself.

"It's called sibling rivalry. Everyone with siblings have it, luckily for me I don't have any siblings so I don't suffer from it." I said with a cheeky grin.

"Oh is that it. I'm pretty sure you had a bit of help in the persuasion."

"Oh, did I?" I asked all innocent, "Are you going to punish me?"

"Yes," He said with a glint in his eyes, oh kinky. "By making you run laps." What?

"You're not serious."

"Dead." With that he charged at me full speed, oh shit. Shooting like a bat out of hell I ran to our room quickly turning to close the door. The only problem was there was a six foot Russian pushing against it. I put all my weight on the door trying to close it while Dimitri was doing the same trying to open it. And I was losing really fast. Damn his sexy muscles.

"I'm stronger than you Roza." He said giving the door an extra push to prove his point.

"So." Was my genius reply as I still was losing at this game. "I'm sexier."

"That doesn't make since."

"Yes it-wha!" Finally I lost, the door opened wide as Dimitri tackled me onto the bed pinning me down easily.

"Fine you win."I mumbled.

"Do I?" He murmured lower his head down to my neck, gently pressing his lips against my jaw for a light kiss.

"And what do I win?" He whispered in my ear seductively. I shivered underneath him, his hot breathe caressing my ear as his arm, hard body pressed against me. Not in uncomfortable way but it a good way.

"The satisfaction of winning." I said feebly as his hot mouth at the skin at the back of my ear, down my throat, to my jaw once again.

"Not good enough." He replied his accented voice deep and husky. My heart began to race with anticipation.

His hands burned against my skin as he slipped them up my shirt exploring the now uncovered territory. His lips molded with mine as he kissed me deep and lovingly, my arms instantly wrapping themselves around his neck to deepen the kiss.

So much for running laps.

Slowly we peeled each other clothes off, layer by layer savoring the feeling of his skin against mine. His lips never left my body as I squirmed underneath him, my fist balled into the sheets as we began to set our pace. Moving together we made love once again. Never growing old no matter how many times I looked at him through my hooded eyes underneath my eyelashes. Watching him as his lips explored unmarked territory. Watching how he moved above me fluidly, grinding our abdomens together in a heated frenzy. His voice echoing in my head, a mixture of English and his native tongue singing to me as I replied with grunts and moans.

But just like that it was over and we laid in the aftermath, sweaty and tangled together with the sheets. The gentle glow of the sun peeking through our curtains as we laid there watching each other. No words were exchanged as we kissed once more and floated off into worlds of our own.

But for some reason, as I laid there my eye closing with a mixture of exhaustion and satisfaction, I knew it was Dimitri I would be seeing in my dreams but rather cold unnatural figures threatening to take me away.

**FWI the song comes from a Chinese nursery rhyme. **


	4. Ch 3 Secrets in the Shadows

**Update time, yeah! Thank you to all my lovely readers and reviewers, you guys always seem to motivate me into writing. I hope you all will forgive me for my lazy updates but I hope my story pleases you enough to be worth the wait (I hope) anyway here is chapter three, things are getting weird, and a new mystery is unfolding, what do I have up my sleeves this time? :D**

KPOV

"Little Swallow, dressed in a flower coat…" Xavier kept singing as we walked to our appointed housing that court had given us for our stay. He was swinging aimlessly on my shoulder singing that childish nursery rhyme like it was nobody's business and I had to suffer for it… well sort of it was after all amusing.

"X why are you singing that? It's been ages since we've been to China."

"Does it- does it not pleas-ssse you my love?" He said, a stupid grin on his face. "How about this;

Frère Jacques, frère Jacques,  
>Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?<br>Sonnez les matines! Sonnez les matines!  
>Din, dan, don. Din, dan, don." He sang with a horrible French accent.<p>

"No that's worse you can't sing in French to save your life, let alone when your drunk." I commented, happy that we finally made it to our place.

"Are you sleeping, are sleeping,

Brother john?, Brother john?…" He then began to sing in English, still horribly I might add.

"X please keep it down. There are people trying to sleep." But he didn't, too drunk to care.

After taking the elevator and gaining a few looks from some people we finally made it to our room. The court was very generous in the room they gave us. Of course Xavier was royal so he had no problem really acquiring a full blown penthouse here at court but it was still nice of them. It had a kitchen, a living room, bedroom (equipped with a king sized bed much to Xavier's pleasure), and a huge bathroom. Court also gave me the option of my own room when I wasn't on duty but declined. I was always on duty I told while Xavier stood behind me giving me knowing looks. Yeah I was always on duty unless I was in bed with him. Pervert.

I thanked to God for intense Dhampir training as I practically threw Xavier on the bed, who was on the border line of blacking out. I sometimes wondered if the whole point of being able to lift heavy objects was really to lift our drunk charges off the ground. Leaving Xavier on the bed I walked to the bathroom and dampened and washcloth bring it back to Xavier to place it on his head.

"Mmmm that feels-sss good Kis-sssa." He slurred, closing his eyes happily from the cool contact.

"Yes I bet it does Xavier. Though I think it's best that you go to sleep now. You're going to have a wicked hangover in the morning."

"But the night is-ss young Hime," He said using my annoying nickname.

"Could you be any more annoying?"

"Don't like? How about-about," He paused for a moment his mind slowly processing the words he needed, " Printsessa, Banphrionsa, Princesa, or Prinzessin*" He asked saying each word in a terrible accent.

"You fail at speaking in other languages X. Just stick with English right now ok."

"Mmmm maybe, but at leas-ssst I'm good at one thing-one thing."

"And what is that?"

He laid there a moment his slow mind trying to, again, grasp the right words. "Pleasing a woman." He replied giving me a sloppy wink.

In any other situation he could have pulled off that line very successfully but since he was drunk and held a rather glazed look in his eyes instead of his usual cocky one it failed, miserably.

"X," I began between my fits of laughter, "That was horri-" Then it happened, the tightening in my chest, the itchy feeling in my throat. It was suffocating.

I began to cough hysterically into my hand, a force pushing into my chest as my chest expanded and tightened tighter and tighter with each cough I took. Xavier just laid on the bed his glazed eyes looking at me, slowly processing what was happening. Too drunk to actually do anything. I just coughed and coughed a slight ache in my stomach as my episode continued. But then as quickly as it came I stopped, a wet liquid shooting out of my mouth and into my hand. I didn't need to look to know what it was.

"Are you alright?" Xavier asked slowly, his mind unable to fully process what had just happened.

"Yeah." I replied, trying to slow my hammering heart. "I'll be right back."

I stood and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind me as I turned on the sink. I looked at myself in the mirror for a moment, my flushed cheeks, scared, wide eyes, heavy breathing. This was a image that was common for me see lately. Attacks, was what Xavier liked to call them. I would get them randomly. They were there one second and gone the next and it scared me in so many levels.

Looking down at my hands I flinched in disgust as I began to wash them, watching as the red liquid pooled down and into the water, down the drain in a crimson whirlpool. This wasn't good.

Once done I turned off the water and sat on the bathroom floor. My legs to my chest with my arms wrapped around my stomach. No this isn't good at all.

RPOV

I rushed into my bathroom without a second thought, still naked and badly shaken up. I locked the door and leaned against it as I faintly hear Dimitri move in the bad and calling my name. I can only imagine what he was thinking. Goodnight with the girlfriend, go to sleep, only to be waken up with your said girlfriend shooting out of bed like it was on fire and locking herself in the bathroom. Yeah, a great impression but I couldn't help it the…things I saw…the things I dreamed. It was so real. I could still feel their icy fingers upon me as I struggled against them. How could it not be real?

With my back against the door I slid down to the floor, my arms wrapped around me protectively as I sat there trying my best to breath in and out calmly.

"Rose?" I heard Dimitri ask behind the door, "What's wrong." What's wrong he asks? I'll tell you wants wrong I'm going freakin' crazy that's what's wrong. Every time I close my eyes I see…

I ducked my head in my arms making a muffled sound mixed between a grunt and moan. Trying my best to block out the images.

"Rose, open the door." Dimitri demanded knocking on the door.

"Go away." I said feebly. He didn't need to see me like this.

"Don't make me get a screwdriver." He threatened and I knew he would. He wouldn't be afraid to un screw the hinges off our bathroom door. He was badass and no door would stand in his way.

Feebly I stood back up, swaying slightly as I unlocked the bathroom door. As soon as I opened it though Dimitri wrapped me in a warm blanket and pulled me close to him in an intimate hug. His warm arms were safe and protective as he placed his head on top of mine while one hand held me close and the other mindlessly stroking through my dark strands.

"You had that dream again." It wasn't a question.

I nodded.

With a sigh, Dimitri held me closer.

"It's just a dream Roza."

"But what if it isn't?"

"Dreams can't hurt you."

"But what if it's not a dream?" I insisted, pulling away from him slightly so I could look at him straight on. "What if they're trying to tell me something? Something important? Don't forget Dimitri I've died twice in my life-"

"Don't say that."

"It's true! Whether you want to believe it or not I should have stayed dead three months ago and here I am breathing. Why Dimitri? Why?" I demanded from my lover who in return just looked at me with his dark eyes.

"I don't have an answer Rose. But you're alive now and that's all that matters."

"A large hot chocolate with a chocolate croissant please." I said to the bored looking cashier the next morning. I was at one of my favorite cafés ordering my usual breakfast for another typical day. Dimitri had already left for his guardian duties which left me alone for most of the day. We would text each other every so often but still for the most part I spent the day lazing around since Lissa refused to let me guard her on our winter break.

With the speed of a snail the cashier went to work after I paid her taking her sweet time grabbing my croissant and making my hot chocolate. Normally I would have had fit with her slow pace but today I was tired from my lack of sleep and plus I had nothing better to do why not waste five minutes waiting for breakfast.

So I leaned against the counter I people watched. An old moroi was mumbling to himself with a cup of coffee and a newspaper, a couple giggling over their drinks, a mother and talking to a friend while her child sat next to her, playing with his food with a bored expression, you know the usual morning.

After retrieving my breakfast goods I left the café. I walked down the street to a local pharmacy suddenly remembering I needed to stock up on womanly goods. It was almost that time and I needed more pads and I know Dimitri would appreciate it if I didn't make him go get it even though he assured me he had was already through with the humiliation of buying pads for women, you know living with a house full of woman and all. I'm sure he did quite a few late night runs to the pharmacy back in the day. But I was out and had nothing better to do so why not.

I walked into the pharmacy only to be greeted by Kisa who was leaving.

To say she was surprised was an understatement. He brown eyes grew wide as she looked at me, her body growing stiff and her eyes fearful.

"Hey Kisa." I greeted smiling cheerfully at her.

"Oh hey Rose." She said still a bit surprised to see me. "What brings you here?"

"I gotta restock on some womanly things." I said casually, "So if I start bitching at people for no reason you'll know why." I teased, trying to ignore Kisa's stiff posture. "How about you?"

"Medicine," she said simply, pausing for moment. "For Xavier that is," She said nervously, "He'll have a huge hangover this morning and I realized we didn't have anything to treat it so I ran out and got something."

I looked down at the plastic bag she was holding noticing it was it was heavy and held something clunky and large. Not your typical pain medicine container.

"Well I should be going," Kisa cut me off right when I was about to comment, "Say hi to Dimitri for me." And then she was gone rushing down the street to her and Xavier's place.

I watched as she ran off, slightly bewildered with her strange attitude. Had it something to do with the ghosts? Was she having strange dreams like me? What had she bought that made act that way? She was normally a very formal guardian, hiding behind a perfect mask but today she was off. Something was going on, something big. But how big?

"Kisa's up to something." I said to Lisa. We were having lunch together today in one ft eh many restaurants located in court. Lisa was mostly kept busy with royal affairs most of the day but every so often we would have a light lunch together chatting about various things. But this morning's incident with Kisa left my mind reeling with possibilities and ideas. What was she up to?

"What do you mean?"

I explained to Lisa what had happened that morning explaining what I saw and my question on what she had bought.

"Maybe it was groceries." Lisa said casually, sipping her drink. "The flats here at court aren't usually stocked with food and maybe Kisa bought some food at the pharmacy. You know they sell more than just medicine there."

"I know but she was acting weird. As if I was catching her doing something she shouldn't be doing."

Lisa sighed, obviously finding my paranoia annoying.

"Then confront her. Ask what she was up to."

"Like she'll tell me. She wouldn't have left so quickly if she was willing to tell me what she was up to."

"Rose." She growled, "I didn't meet you here to play detective."

"But you did come to eat and chat with me and today I feel like playing detective so detective we shall play."

"Oh Rose, your impossible."

"Obviously." A new, snarky voice chimed in. I looked up from my meal to see Christian and Dimitri walk into the café both dressed in gym attire.

"Yeah just like it's impossible for you to ever gain in muscle in your puny arms." Much to the Moroi society dismay Christian had started training with Dimitri over the last few months in order for him to be in the best "Strigoi ass kicking" shape possible. Of course Dimitri wasn't being as brutal on him as he was on me but still he was working him pretty hard. Lissa was pleased because she was hoping for some strong masculine arms, plus she secretly confessed that she would love to see a six pack similar to the one Dimitri had.

"Whatever." He muttered as he took a seat next to Lissa who squealed on how sweaty Christian was.

"So what are you two up to anyway?" Dimitri asked sitting next to me.

"Oh nothing much, Rose is spitting out conspiracy theories about your sister."

"What?"

"She's being weird." I growled at them, shooting Lissa a glare.

"How?"

I sighed and once again retold them my tale of what had happened this morning going in detail Kisa's strange behavior.

"I think Rose is just being silly." Lissa said once I was done.

"Wouldn't be the first time Rose told tall tales," Christian added, "Remember the one about her dying and meeting ghosts."

"That wasn't a story." I practically shouted at Christian, "It was real and you can even ask Kisa to back me up."

"The girl your accusing of acting weird?"

I glared at all of them, my head suddenly pounding, and shot out of my seat and through the restaurant. I could vaguely hear someone follow right behind but I didn't care my sudden frustration and annoyance was getting to me, plus, my freaking head hurt so damn much!

"Rose," the person said grabbing arm and spinning me around to face them. The person pulled to their chest and held me tight as I struggled against them, my head pounding, my adrenaline rushing. I needed to get away.

"Rose calm down!" But I still struggled against them but all they did was hold tighter and tighter, whispering in my ear, "This isn't you, this isn't you…" Like a gentle prayer.

And yet somewhere within the madness I stopped. Only to grow weak and weary, and tired of all these secrets that hid in the shadows.

***Princess in Russian, Irish, Portuguese, and German**


	5. Ch4 PREVIEW

**I'm ALIVE! Oh my goodness, how long sicne I updated this story…July! Wow, I'm so sorry my readers, it's really been a long time but college is extremely time consuming (sitting on a computer for 8 hours a day animating is not easy and don't get me started on rigging) I was going to update during my winter break but… I was having health issues. Like no kidding I had to go see my doctor three times in one month. And let me tell you, hospitals suck big time . **

** Anyway enough of my drama this is a PREVIEW of the next chapter I suddenly had the urge to type and I wanted to let you all know that more was coming so here it is a PREVIEW of chapter 4. There will be more added in the future so enjoy for now.**

Despite everyone's accusation that I was over exaggerating Kisa's behavior I watched her. I wasn't stalking per say but I was observing every movement and listening to every word she said as if she was some kind of science project. I could blame Lissa (which I did) for my behavior. It was her fault after all for not letting me have guard duty and thus having free time on my hands, but I knew I was doing this for myself. The ghosts were putting me on edge. I wasn't seeing them yet like Kisa did but I was definitely feeling their presence. It was like slight pressure at the back of my mind, reminding me that they were there watching me.

I had been like this for about two week nothing really interesting had happened. When I saw her walking around court she was with Xavier, holding his hand and talking to him with a smile on her face. Normal. When she came over for a friendly get together she was pleasant and as social as Dimitri (aka not super social but enough to be polite.) It was by the end of the week that I began questioning my sanity and by the end of the second week I was sure I being mental. Sure nothing all that different happened but still it bugged me to no end. It was like the ghosts, though I couldn't see it in front of me, a feeling at the back of my mind was there telling me there was something there. Something, but what?

"Good morning Rose." A pleasant care free voice said to me one morning.

I was once again hanging out at my favorite café, enjoying a simple lunch by myself when Xavier came out of the blue and greeted me.

At first I hesitated for I was looking over a spiral notebook over gathered notes about Kisa's behavior (by this point I decided I was so mental that I might as well go with it) but then decided to use this approach to my advantage.

"Good morning X." I greeted back casually watching as he took a seat across from me.

"How's Kisa this morning?" I asked getting straight to the point. Last night I went out to dinner with the gang. Xavier was suppose to join us with Kisa in tow but had to cancel because Kisa was feeling unwell.

"Ok." He said just as casually, "She's resting now, but she's still not able to be on guard duty."

"So that's why you're wondering court all by yourself?"

Xavier didn't reply to my witty remark but instead was silent for a moment thinking over something before speaking again.

"Rose…if I told you something would you keep it a secret?"

"Huh?" I said suddenly taken off guard. "What's with the strange question?"

"I'm serious Rose," He leaned over the table, his usually calm eyes hard and cold. "If I told you something would you keep it a secret even from Dimitri?"

I sat there for a moment. Was this the answer to Kisa's strange behavior? Was I actually right instead of crazy and delusional?

"Yes." I replied slowly watching as Xavier leaned back into his chair, his eyes not drifting from my own. I expected him to say something to me, to go on some long explanation about Kisa's strange behavior but instead he reached into a backpack I didn't realized he had until now, and pulled out a slim piece of plastic. He handed it to me and I couldn't help but gasp.

It was a pregnancy test.

**That's the end of the preview I will add more soon (hopefully). Stay tune.**


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